The unwritten rules that everyone seems to work under:
- Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00
and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is
refreshing.
- If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every
10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even
better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
- Always leave without telling anyone where you're going.
It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where
you are.
- If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies,
don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function
as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good
training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of
my limbs.
- If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me
which is the priority. I am psychic.
- Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and
really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life
beyond work.
- If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets
out, it could mean a promotion.
- If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name
to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
- If you have special instructions for a job, don't write
them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
No use confusing me with useful information.
- Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no
right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am
plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions
will identify them.
- Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could
really change your life and send you straight to manager's
hell.
- Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and
it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially
like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus
check you received for being such a good manager.
- Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my
goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating
with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money
anyway.
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