- If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
- If you refer to friends by their URLs.
- If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
- If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
- If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
- If Dilbert is your hero
- If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
- If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
- If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
- If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
- If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place
- If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
- If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
- If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
- If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
find the burnt-out bulb in the string
- If you window shop at Radio Shack
- If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
- If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
- If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that actually takes five minutes to run
- If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment
- If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
- If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
- If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
- If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
- If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
- If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
- If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
- If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor
- If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
- If you have never backed-up your hard drive
- If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing
games, but are afraid to say it out loud
- If you truly believe aliens are living among us
- If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
- If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
- If you see a good design and still have to change it
- If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
- If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
- If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
your mind
- If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember
where they are
- If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires
- If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal
- If you have more toys than your kids
- If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
- If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
- If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
- If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
- If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
up to the front to fix it
- If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
- If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
and have seen most of the shows already
- If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what
RPN stands for
- If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and
you grew up thinking that was normal
- If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size
screw driver to use
- If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
- If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
- If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this
week
- If you did the sound system for your senior prom
- If your checkbook always balances
- If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
- If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
- If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers
- If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they
didn't get enough sleep
- If you spend more on your home computer than your car
- If you know what https:// stands for
- If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
- If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
garage
- If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory
- If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar
4.Chocolate
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